3...2...1... You're Parents!!

Oddly enough, I am writing this blog from a calming bubble bath with a trusty friend: a glass of wine.  TMI you might say; however, the last few weeks, at the tail end of this pregnancy, have been riddled with advice from friends, family, and strangers alike. "Sleep as much as you can," "relax," "go on dates," "your lives are about to change forever."  I am trying to take the advice of every single person we know, which is why I am compelled to write my last potential pre-baby blog in the tub, with wine. I am still unsure of exactly how one prepares for a baby. For those that know me, I like to know exactly what is going on at all times; you say neurotic, I say extremely prepared!! I ask way too many questions and I like to stay three steps ahead. So what does this pregnancy mean for me? It means that I cannot plan one single thing, that this baby will show up when he damn well pleases, and I will always be a few steps behind.

His room is ready, we have enough diapers and wipes for five months, clothes until he is one, and  enough 'stuff' to keep him occupied for years: Not to mention enough love to last him well into his teens and annoy the shit out of him!! I already see myself teaching him to drive, begging that he get a 'rad' car, and teaching him that a stick shift is much cooler than an automatic. I see Jen sitting down with him filling out college applications, reminding him to strive for success, and holding back tears all the while. I can see into the future, yet I cannot picture what our life will be like in the next few weeks. The unknown usually makes me anxious, grouchy, and a tad paranoid (I sound fun huh); but now I find myself just a little relieved that I'm out of the cosmic loop. Whatever happens next is not in my plan, and that is strangely comforting.

I have been so scared this entire time about bringing a baby into this world. Are we ready? Will our relationship be strong enough? Will we be able to take care of him? How will we pay for college? When should he have a sibling?... The list goes on and on. I don't think enough people talk about these things out loud. I felt like a terrible person thinking this way, and being anxious... and I thought I was surely alone. Let me just clear this up for all new parents; this is normal. I'm scared to death! Do you know why?? Because this little guy is coming into OUR lives, and we are solely responsible for his childhood memories, how he handles his first breakup, his morals, and the way he treats his future partner. You think that is not an insane amount of pressure?? Think again my friend!!!  I was worried about being scared (imagine that, me worried), but I realize now that I am mentally preparing to be a parent, not freaking out because I'll be horrible.

I want to succeed at this next step in life, more than I've wanted anything... And I want to do it as a team... I was so concerned that Jen and I wouldn't  be on the same page the entire time, and guess what? We won't be!! The gift that comes along with two parents is two perspectives... Will it always be seen as a gift? Doubtful! However, he will have two parents that love him and that will give him two different views on life while maintaining a unified front. Is this all wishful thinking, and my hidden optimistic side coming alive? Maybe, but I like to think that if you work hard enough you can do anything. There may be a good many crap days in the middle, but without hard days you cannot define the great ones.

So here we are, a technical two and a half weeks from his arrival, and I'm now a prune. I'd like to think a more enlightened prune, mind you.  On a more medical note: Jen is one centimeter dilated, 70% effaced, and our noodle is head down and ready!! He is now over 7.5 lbs! We cannot wait to meet our little chubster, and yes, you can bet on lots of photos once he arrives.

The next time you read this blog we will be moms to a beautiful wailing baby boy!! Thank you to all who have trudged along on this journey with us; your love and support is the main reason we feel strong enough to be great parents!!

Xoxo