Who's Your Daddy

Let me preface this blog by stating that I do not wish to be in the category with those in the Gay community that like to picket or rant and rave constantly about being treated unfairly. Do I believe it is sometimes necessary for a select few to behave in that manner as representation during important milestones, sure. I am just not a soapbox connoisseur.  I am of the opinion that we should all pick our battles wisely. Complaining about every detail is not only exhausting, it is in most cases futile.

So that being said, I am being enlightened regarding my role in the baby's life (or rather, other's opinion of said role). Our hospital orientation proved to me that being a parent is earned, as well as proved to all around you.  I can scream all day that I am the baby's other parent, but I may not always be seen that way. Biology tends to render some people flat out moronic.  I do understand that our lifestyle is not the same as others, nor do I care. Families come in all shapes and sizes, along with numerous parenting schemas.  However, the reaction and lack of knowledge by some is quite troubling to me, especially in large corporate environments.  

During our orientation the word 'dad' was used frequently by hospital staff, as it should be.. IN ADDITION to coach or partner or significant other.  During our hospital tour we were informed that baby bonding time includes only mom and dad, that dad and two guests are allowed in the delivery room, and the cafeteria is where dads love to hang out! Well I love food as much as all dads, I hope to be a 'guest' in the delivery room, and I'd sure like baby bonding time!!  

We were told this is a language choice by some hospital employees and that they try to include all parents. Language choice? Is it your choice to exclude, through bad word choice, those that are so excited to become parents.. in any form? This is not solely based on OUR feelings for ourselves; this is for all the single mothers as well. How terrible to be at an orientation alone and have the word 'dad' thrown in your face. Why not make them wear a Scarlet S.. SINGLE, please judge.  Maybe I exaggerate the impact, but I do not exaggerate the importance of word choice.  I know this is a battle we will face with future teachers, coaches, and other parents.  

My son does not have a dad. 

>for effect<  My son does not have a dad.

He has two loving mommas, and many many friends and family (male and female), that love him more than words already! He has a donor, which in no way resembles a dad. We often hear people call their dads sperm donors, when that dad is not, nor has ever been, in their life as a father figure. That is so absolutely correct! A dad is not made a dad by biology, any more than a mom is a mom solely by egg donation.  That term is reserved for the loving, participating, worn out, disciplining, there-every-day,  PTA involved, homework guiding, butt-wiping, sleepless parent(s).

Bottom Line:  Do I want to go yell at someone or cause a fuss at a hospital about a select few only using the word dad?  NO. I will conduct myself as a respectable MOM and possibly make a t-shirt that states 'I'm the Daddy,' or "I'm the Other Momma.'  Just for clarification of course.  Have you heard the saying "you get more bees with honey, than you do with vinegar?" Well let me tell you, you get more gay supporters with a sense of humor and honesty than you do with a picket sign or a rally.

I hope to spread awareness on the importance of word choice, and how loving excited moms like myself, get their bubble popped on a special day due to 'language choices.'



"I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect."  ~Oscar Wilde

Sneak Peek!

Here's a little peek into our Maternity Photos. More to follow soon..

Please note that our Fray is not possessed.. he's just not as photogenic as the rest of us in this photo. :)