The 30's: Spanx, Botox, and all that jazz.

I love Atticus, and I love writing about that little goob… But something I'm learning about parenting is… wait for it… No one really gives two shats about your kids!! Does that mean your friends and family hate your kids? NO. But for those without kids, and some with, they don't want to hear about or see your kid 24/7. Does that mean I won't post a ton of pictures of my little guy? Well, hell no… But I will take a break sometimes and switch it up.  Let's chat about something everyone can relate to, parents or not: AGING.

I haven't blogged in a long while, and I figured I'd go rogue and not write about the baby or life as a mom (minus the intro to this blog). There's something more pressing on my mind as we step into a new year.  In a few months I'm going to be 35. >Breathe< Yes, I'll be in my mid thirties. Holy Shit: That's all I know to say. I sure don't feel in my mid thirties; that used to seem so ancient. 

As I reflect on my 34 years of life with the coming of a new year, I've realized a few things. There are very significant differences in my life now as opposed to life in my twenties. I can't imagine that many of you don't feel exactly the same way. It's quite comical when I think about it. This came up mainly because we are headed to a wedding this weekend in LA and staying at the Standard. Now, normally I would be so thrilled to get all dressed up and go to LA for a night. Not that I'm not excited, but I just really want to go to the hotel and pass the F*%&# out for a good 12 hours!! We will go and have a great time and celebrate our friend's new life… but this wedding makes me think about how different my life is now.

Here are some ways life in my thirties is a world away from my twenties (maybe you can relate):

Then: For special occasions I'd buy a really cute dress (and not even curse in the dressing room), put it on, do my hair and makeup, and dash out for a great night of drinking and dancing IN HEELS.

Now: I break into a sweat just thinking of buying a dress. It has to be the right length so my Spanx don't hang out (getting those on is an entirely different battle, especially after breaking the seal after one glass of wine and being tipsy). I have to get 'comfy' heels, or get a pedicure because I know those puppies will fly off the moment we get drunk enough to go dance.

Then: I would shave my entire leg, ankle to hip, every day. You just never know!

Now: I shave up to my knee. I mean, who the hell's gonna see my full leg. If I wear a skirt it's to the knee (enter Spanx again), or just in case my pants come up. No one likes hairy ankles (thank goodness they aren't cankles at least).

Then: We would get ready to go out, at 10, yes I mean PM!!!! ON A WORK NIGHT.  (gasp)

Now: I have one glass of wine on a work night and think that I may die on the way to work from a splitting headache, projectile diarrhea, or vomit.

Then: I would smile, laugh, and make stupid faces with no worries.

Now: I think to myself, that's gonna cause a permanent line, is it really worth it? (don't act like you don't think about it y'all!).

Then: Buy whatever the hell I wanted..

Now: movers, bills, daycare, everything but new BOOTS!

Caution: If you're a prude, skip this one

Then: Sex.. YES Please!!

Now: “It’s a weekday and the DVR is full.” (Please shoot me)

Then: High metabolism

Now: Weight Watchers

Then: Multi-tasking

Now: I can’t even shower and remember to wash my hair.

Then: My closet was the laundry basket. I had a clean one and a dirty one.

Now: I gotta fold that shit!

Then: I would lather myself in baby oil outside (IN PUBLIC!) in a teeny bikini and wait… for the brown.

Now: Wrinkles, skin cancer….50 SPF

Then: Wear makeup to bed, and moisturize, what?!?

Now: Botox (don’t hate: the only side effect is addiction!)

Then: I had no clue who I was or what I wanted.

Now: I got everything that I didn’t know I wanted.

This new year, instead of always trying to look great at 33 or 34 or 35… I’m just going to make 35 LOOK DAMN GOOD. . . and every year after that! I want those young’uns to see me and say, “Man, she makes the 30’s look good!” That’s right y’all, hop on board!!! We are the generation to give them young knuckle-heads something to look forward to! Don’t make aging look as painful as I remember it seeming.

Happy New Year, and remember, we are not twenty… We ARE in our thirties and KILLIN’ IT (Spanx and all)!  :D

*I can't wait to redo this list in my Forties (and by that I don't mean I actually want to be 40)

Hurt Your Child?? You'd NEVER!! Oh Please, yes, you've thought about it!

Let's get real... Parenthood is not all rainbows and butterflies.. And if you are one of those parents that tries to tell us that everything is incredible and wonderful, well, we won't be friends for long.
I suppose I should have a disclaimer to preface this post...

DISCLAIMER:  **We love Atticus so very much, and we are more than thrilled that he is in our life!

Okay, now that the disclaimer is out of the way, let's be honest. . . We are 7 weeks into this parenthood process and WE ARE EXHAUSTED.  We are exhausted and we have a pretty well behaved (most of the time), good sleeping baby.  So when you see a mom walking around in sweats, looking disheveled, with bad hair, and children with food remnants on their face, please don't judge.  We have all been there or will be there soon. I say that, but those that know me know that I will always have good hair and wipe that baby's face!!  The rest may take over soon enough. I am a big proponent of time for relationships and self, and that has not been more clear to me than the last 4-6 weeks. To all those parents that do not leave their babies, that do not do date night, and do not go out for alone time; Bless your hearts!! We will see you on "Snapped" very soon.   Just so you know, you cannot safe surrender a two year old...So go shopping or out for coffee alone and you will want to hurt them less.

I mentioned earlier that we have a fairly well behaved baby. This is kind of true, minus the last week or so. Our bundle of 'joy' (other names have been deleted for CPS' sake), has taken to fits of screaming throughout the day. I cannot claim that this is really all my problem right now because I am back to work and Jen is home for another week and a half, but I have experienced this as well once I get home.  He is not wet, he is not hungry, he is not tired, and as far as I know no one (including a ghost) is pinching him.  So why the hell is he screaming bloody murder unless we are walking around jostling him?!  I'll tell you.. WHO THE HELL KNOWS!!!

Well, we were told it's possibly gas.. How silly. Our child screams as though we are trying to chop his leg off with a butter knife, and the reasoning is GAS?  Fine.. We can handle gas (maybe). So we tried everything, and we took him into the doctor. No Fever. No Colic. No Reflux. No Earache. "His tummy is gurgling...  "  Are you freaking kidding me!  There is a point (and don't try to deny it) where you want your old life back.  He does not talk to us, he sort of smiles when he feels like it, he does not sleep regularly, he can't feed himself, and we can't take him anywhere cool.   So this can make every parent feel a little off their rocker.  We want to eat dinner together at home, we want to watch all of our TV shows that are coming back this Fall, we want to sleep in more than 4-7 hour increments (I know that's pretty good, don't judge), and we want to run to target at 7:30 to spend an obnoxious amount of money on nothing!! Damnit, we want to go to a movie on a Friday without having to convince our friends or Meemaw that Atticus misses them (hehe) and they should babysit!

Jen and I have both looked at each other the last 7 weeks and said "Why did we want to have kids," "I'm not a good mom," "I understand why someone would want to shake a baby," "We are not having anymore kids," "Maybe we don't love him enough." Before you get on your high horse and think we are nuts or evil people, I'll tell you something... RELAX.  Allow yourself to feel what you feel and when you feel it.  It does not make you shitty, it makes you healthy and normal.  When your baby is screaming and you are bug-eyed, in your pajamas, starving, sleep deprived, in the same undies for three days, and crying; put the damn baby down and walk outside. Take a deep breath and repeat this mantra that I have found helpful.. and I know it to be true...  *Every parent in the world has felt this way at one time or another while parenting; I am not a freak.

I promise that will work. We are too hard on ourselves these days.. You have to be supermom,  work a job, make dinner, have multiple kids, maintain a good figure, and be a great spouse.. Good Lord people, we are only human!!  And you only live ONCE, so try to make it pleasant, memorable, and jail free!

xoxoxo until next time!

Remember, do what you feel is right; don't listen to opinions. The only opinion that matters in the end is your own!!

Is What 'They' Say True?!

The omnipotent THEY seems to haunt new parents everywhere. . . "They say your baby has to breast feed to bond with you." "They say not to ever place a baby on his or her belly to sleep." "They say a baby cannot be spoiled in the first couple of months." THEY say a lot, now don't they: Some of which is true, and others not so much. I'm a new parent and if I wasn't older (and stubborn as hell), I might be utterly overwhelmed with all THEY tell me to do, and not to do. We have received so many different opinions just from our doctors alone; let me just say, none of them are very consistent. So who is a new parent to trust?? And how in the hell do teen moms not kill their kids with all these mixed messages?? As much as I trust our doctors and friends, as a mom you know what to do. And just like adults, not all babies are alike!

We read a good many books, especially on sleep training, and we pick and choose what we think will work.  We tried the cookie cutter plan that THEY say works for all babies: swaddle them to sleep.  Yeah, so that worked for all of two days the first week, and not even well. The little guy turned into the Hulk, and we could hear him grunting and ripping the Velcro apart with his baby-man arms.. He screamed bloody murder, and that was that. One day we flipped the sucker over like a pancake and Viola!; he sleeps like, well,  a baby (which makes no sense to say)...  Go ahead, judge us! Please judge us and our one month old that sleeps four consecutive hours (give or take a bit) per night, and in his own room.  He wakes up, eats like a champ, and bellies back down to sleep!  Yes, I said in his own crib since he was 2.5 weeks. Should you go run and flip you baby and toss him in his crib at two and a half weeks because I say so? Hell no, unless you enjoy being a sheep (bah bah)...

My point (I'm sure you were waiting for it); do what works for YOUR baby! And I in no way condone dismissing your practitioner's feedback and advice. You listen, and listen well, but keep in mind that your baby may not agree.  Atticus did not 'like' his original formula, and it seemed it took an act of congress to get the doctor to agree to let us change it.  The bottom line is we are his parents, and if we feel something is best then we go for it, wisely of course.  He also had a reaction to his diapers, which the docs said was normal.. Really, I don't prefer our son to have bright red nether regions... So, we switched the diapers and now he's golden. One doctor said not to give him water for his constipation, to get suppositories; the other doctor said to give him water twice a day... Do you see the dilemma?!  So we went with what made sense to us... Water, duh. I'm not torturing the guy with a slimey bullet in his rear everyday when he can drink water (and yes we did try the suppository). But the noodle was still grunting like a pissed off warthog, so we gave him water. And guess what? He now poops as he should... Shocker.

Do I sound like some crazy nonconformist?! Ok, don't answer that...  We have a wonderful Pediatrician whose opinion we value; however, if you are conditioned to always take the first advice you hear, from anyone, you may miss out on an amazing self teaching moment.  There are times when we just want to call someone with kids (who has kept them alive), and verify that we aren't endangering the little guy.

 So far parenting is a dash of knowledge, a large dallop of 'wing it,' and a shat ton of OMG.

I write this post late at night while staring at the video monitor, thinking... What will our son teach us next.

"When a child asks you something, answer him, for goodness sake." -Atticus Finch

3...2...1... You're Parents!!

Oddly enough, I am writing this blog from a calming bubble bath with a trusty friend: a glass of wine.  TMI you might say; however, the last few weeks, at the tail end of this pregnancy, have been riddled with advice from friends, family, and strangers alike. "Sleep as much as you can," "relax," "go on dates," "your lives are about to change forever."  I am trying to take the advice of every single person we know, which is why I am compelled to write my last potential pre-baby blog in the tub, with wine. I am still unsure of exactly how one prepares for a baby. For those that know me, I like to know exactly what is going on at all times; you say neurotic, I say extremely prepared!! I ask way too many questions and I like to stay three steps ahead. So what does this pregnancy mean for me? It means that I cannot plan one single thing, that this baby will show up when he damn well pleases, and I will always be a few steps behind.

His room is ready, we have enough diapers and wipes for five months, clothes until he is one, and  enough 'stuff' to keep him occupied for years: Not to mention enough love to last him well into his teens and annoy the shit out of him!! I already see myself teaching him to drive, begging that he get a 'rad' car, and teaching him that a stick shift is much cooler than an automatic. I see Jen sitting down with him filling out college applications, reminding him to strive for success, and holding back tears all the while. I can see into the future, yet I cannot picture what our life will be like in the next few weeks. The unknown usually makes me anxious, grouchy, and a tad paranoid (I sound fun huh); but now I find myself just a little relieved that I'm out of the cosmic loop. Whatever happens next is not in my plan, and that is strangely comforting.

I have been so scared this entire time about bringing a baby into this world. Are we ready? Will our relationship be strong enough? Will we be able to take care of him? How will we pay for college? When should he have a sibling?... The list goes on and on. I don't think enough people talk about these things out loud. I felt like a terrible person thinking this way, and being anxious... and I thought I was surely alone. Let me just clear this up for all new parents; this is normal. I'm scared to death! Do you know why?? Because this little guy is coming into OUR lives, and we are solely responsible for his childhood memories, how he handles his first breakup, his morals, and the way he treats his future partner. You think that is not an insane amount of pressure?? Think again my friend!!!  I was worried about being scared (imagine that, me worried), but I realize now that I am mentally preparing to be a parent, not freaking out because I'll be horrible.

I want to succeed at this next step in life, more than I've wanted anything... And I want to do it as a team... I was so concerned that Jen and I wouldn't  be on the same page the entire time, and guess what? We won't be!! The gift that comes along with two parents is two perspectives... Will it always be seen as a gift? Doubtful! However, he will have two parents that love him and that will give him two different views on life while maintaining a unified front. Is this all wishful thinking, and my hidden optimistic side coming alive? Maybe, but I like to think that if you work hard enough you can do anything. There may be a good many crap days in the middle, but without hard days you cannot define the great ones.

So here we are, a technical two and a half weeks from his arrival, and I'm now a prune. I'd like to think a more enlightened prune, mind you.  On a more medical note: Jen is one centimeter dilated, 70% effaced, and our noodle is head down and ready!! He is now over 7.5 lbs! We cannot wait to meet our little chubster, and yes, you can bet on lots of photos once he arrives.

The next time you read this blog we will be moms to a beautiful wailing baby boy!! Thank you to all who have trudged along on this journey with us; your love and support is the main reason we feel strong enough to be great parents!!

Xoxo

Who's Your Daddy

Let me preface this blog by stating that I do not wish to be in the category with those in the Gay community that like to picket or rant and rave constantly about being treated unfairly. Do I believe it is sometimes necessary for a select few to behave in that manner as representation during important milestones, sure. I am just not a soapbox connoisseur.  I am of the opinion that we should all pick our battles wisely. Complaining about every detail is not only exhausting, it is in most cases futile.

So that being said, I am being enlightened regarding my role in the baby's life (or rather, other's opinion of said role). Our hospital orientation proved to me that being a parent is earned, as well as proved to all around you.  I can scream all day that I am the baby's other parent, but I may not always be seen that way. Biology tends to render some people flat out moronic.  I do understand that our lifestyle is not the same as others, nor do I care. Families come in all shapes and sizes, along with numerous parenting schemas.  However, the reaction and lack of knowledge by some is quite troubling to me, especially in large corporate environments.  

During our orientation the word 'dad' was used frequently by hospital staff, as it should be.. IN ADDITION to coach or partner or significant other.  During our hospital tour we were informed that baby bonding time includes only mom and dad, that dad and two guests are allowed in the delivery room, and the cafeteria is where dads love to hang out! Well I love food as much as all dads, I hope to be a 'guest' in the delivery room, and I'd sure like baby bonding time!!  

We were told this is a language choice by some hospital employees and that they try to include all parents. Language choice? Is it your choice to exclude, through bad word choice, those that are so excited to become parents.. in any form? This is not solely based on OUR feelings for ourselves; this is for all the single mothers as well. How terrible to be at an orientation alone and have the word 'dad' thrown in your face. Why not make them wear a Scarlet S.. SINGLE, please judge.  Maybe I exaggerate the impact, but I do not exaggerate the importance of word choice.  I know this is a battle we will face with future teachers, coaches, and other parents.  

My son does not have a dad. 

>for effect<  My son does not have a dad.

He has two loving mommas, and many many friends and family (male and female), that love him more than words already! He has a donor, which in no way resembles a dad. We often hear people call their dads sperm donors, when that dad is not, nor has ever been, in their life as a father figure. That is so absolutely correct! A dad is not made a dad by biology, any more than a mom is a mom solely by egg donation.  That term is reserved for the loving, participating, worn out, disciplining, there-every-day,  PTA involved, homework guiding, butt-wiping, sleepless parent(s).

Bottom Line:  Do I want to go yell at someone or cause a fuss at a hospital about a select few only using the word dad?  NO. I will conduct myself as a respectable MOM and possibly make a t-shirt that states 'I'm the Daddy,' or "I'm the Other Momma.'  Just for clarification of course.  Have you heard the saying "you get more bees with honey, than you do with vinegar?" Well let me tell you, you get more gay supporters with a sense of humor and honesty than you do with a picket sign or a rally.

I hope to spread awareness on the importance of word choice, and how loving excited moms like myself, get their bubble popped on a special day due to 'language choices.'



"I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect."  ~Oscar Wilde

Sneak Peek!

Here's a little peek into our Maternity Photos. More to follow soon..

Please note that our Fray is not possessed.. he's just not as photogenic as the rest of us in this photo. :)

The Nugget's Room

Can I just say that I LOVED decorating this baby room. Jen had to tell me enough is enough several times (I obviously ignored her); I just kept wanting to add more and more! I even had a back/shoulder injury from leaning over on the floor painting for days, but it was so worth it. I hope one day he can appreciate it. And I secretly hope he asks me to change it when he's three so I can paint cars, wild animals, or scenes from his favorite books!!!

So, here are pictures of the baby's room! We are completely finished, minus a few last minute touches. I had a blast painting and designing his little monsters. I want to change the décor every year just so I can redo it with all the ideas in my head! Too many ideas, only one baby...

I know Jen wants a superstar athlete... But I do hope he's a book nerd, a musician, and a painter as well!  This poor kid!!  :)

Arizona Baby Shower!

Our wonderful friends in Arizona put on one fantastic baby shower! We are lucky to have awesome supportive friends and family. Our California shower is creeping up slowly and we are so excited to prepare and get it going!! I'll post pictures from there too, of course!

 

Here are some photos of the shower in AZ (for those non Facebook people)  :)

 

 

Special thanks to Rita and Anna for hosting a great shower!!

 

There's a Human in There!!

Yes, there's human within Jen's belly.

I don't think people realize how very strange that is. It is the miracle of life, of course, but it's still very surreal.  Our munchkin is now kicking and pushing his way around in there, and even I can begin to feel it.  It's so strange being on the other side of the belly, feeling him from the outside only.  Of course when he's kicking Jen lets me know, however by the time my hand whips over there he's usually back to sleeping!  I won't let it go, though, the little stinker.  But poor Jen, her belly is no longer a part of her, it's this water noodle thingy filled with a lump that you can push around...and sometimes it pushes back.

It's just odd to think I'm out here poking a mini human... and he may punish me when he comes out! "Hey mom, thanks for squishing me in utero, it's pay back time; I ain't sleeping at night!"

Last night I had my head on her stomach by her belly button, and my hand on her lower stomach.. So, I could smoooosh him with my head and feel almost his entire body with my hand. It was so strange!! And I bet he was NOT happy.  He pushed back several times. But hey, he better get used to me telling him what to do! I talk to him and tell he he better kick when I'm around or else! This may be foreshadowing... he doesn't listen often. GULP.

We are almost 23 weeks, and still waiting for Jen's belly to POP.  Although once it does I'm sure Jen won't be too thrilled.

We are plugging away on the nursery, and I will post pictures as soon as I finish many projects! :)


xoxo

Get in my belly!!!!

Here we are, a little over 5 months pregnant! Jen is hardly showing at all, but we know he's in there by his little bitty kicks, mostly at night!

We will post more pictures as he begins to show himself more and more!

Stay Tuned!!

Momma, why can't you get married?

This is a question I hope we never have to answer.

We don't post rainbow flags in our yard, we don't run around yelling to others about gay rights, and we don't care what others think about our lifestyle. In fact, I hardly ever realize we're gay! I'm 'married' to my best friend like many others I know, so I am blind to any difference.  However, with a baby on the way I am more aware of inequalities and how they will affect our little one.  HE is the one that will have to answer questions in school and possibly get picked on... Although, here in California I think that is less likely to occur. I don't want to have to explain these differences to him.
It is the parents of other children that set the precedent and breed ignorance. I am really hoping for a federal legalization of gay marriage. I don't want it just in California.. I feel we are lucky to be in a more liberal state, but I feel horrible for those back in my home region, and close-minded states, whose governments are still fighting Domestic Partnerships. Unless we go federal they will not stand a chance. Their children will be asking the same questions as mine...

The problem is that people feel entitled to their right to get married, and for it to remain between a man and a woman.  ENTITLED. I just love that word.... Let me tell you, the founding fathers felt rather entitled to write what suited them best, to our benefit or loss, but times have changed.  We allow our country to grow along with technology and innovations in medicine, but what we leave behind is equality for the humans that make these innovations possible! We don't really have the RIGHT to do anything.. How egotistical of us Americans!!   Those in other countries then, should have the RIGHT to eat, and to feel safe, and to speak their minds without fear of death...  This is an issue of a level playing field, no one should have different 'rights' than others in ANY REGARD.
We are privileged, that is all.

The supposed sanctity of marriage will not be damaged by a gay invasion!! GAYVASION!!!
My parent's generation, some of them, are on their 3rd, 4th, and 5th time around... And of course, some in the gay community will make stupid rash decisions just like some heterosexual couples... Hello, 16 and pregnant AND married!!! Why can someone run to Vegas, drunk, and get married, just to annul it later, but I can't marry my baby's mom?!? It's rather silly to me that it bothers anyone... I know it will be a game changer, and it will affect more than what we realize... But it's time people! I can set my DVR from my phone, and I can track my dog with a microchip, and we put a man on the moon, AND cars no longer use just gas.. but I can't get married??  It's just a simple PRIVILEGE that people take for granted, that means the world to so many...

I do understand that it's a hard transition for a good many people. I grew up thinking marriage was only for a man and a woman also... so does it sometimes feel weird when a woman calls another woman her wife, or when a man calls another man his husband.. Well yeah.. Admitting that doesn't make me any less gay.  If it's different for me, then imagine how others feel that don't live in my world. We educate ourselves on acceptance of others, and eventually these things are the norm.

I just want my kids to not feel different than their friends.. to understand that they can love whoever they choose, and do it with pride, safety, and confidence. ONCE I hope.

I hope one day we look back on this as we did with Women's Suffrage and the African American Civil Rights Movement. It seems unreal that it was ever any other way. I hope my grand kids study the Gay Rights Movement in school one day, in awe that things were ever this way.

I am proud to see so many red equality signs on my Facebook today... And not all from the gay community..  <3


“The idea is to write it so that people hear it and it slides through the brain and goes straight to the heart.”  ~Maya Angelou

Fingers, and toes, and bones, oh my!!

Yes, they are all there! Everything is located where it should be, and with the correct quantity! We had our anatomy scan today to make sure the baby is developing as he should... and he sure is.  He loves laying with his little feet pulled all the way to his head.. Downward-Baby move!!!   I'm not quite sure how he got MY flexibility, because Jen can barely lean to touch her toes before the pregnancy!

Our little boy is also beginning to kick, but for the most part it just feels like gas pains to Jen.  Although, Fray stepped on her belly yesterday and he then gave a real wham-o kick!... He's not going to like it when he comes out and Fray is still stepping all over him... Bummer kid!

I am so very anxious to feel him kick for myself... I stare at Jen like a creep, just waiting for her to say he's very active so I can run over and attack that belly!! I'm not extremely patient, but this little bugger is making me earn it...

I'll keep y'all posted on his sweet 'moves'...

Think like a man?!

Many people may think that because we are gay, that we get some secret manual on how to live, make a baby, and raise a family. Well, I wish!  I had no clue how to have a baby with a woman (but ask me now!), or what to expect when she's expecting (future book title y'all!?). I may have lived my life geared in one direction, but I was not preparing for this in my 20's, I can tell you that!!

There are not any real books on what the kiddo will call each of us, what the non-pregnant mom can expect, the feelings that happen for each mom, who explains that weird thing between his legs (or do we pin it on Peepaw), how to pay for daycare (and how damn pricey it is),who teaches him baseball (not it!)... Granted, he is one lucky kid and we will figure it out, but getting there is pure trial and error (as it is for any new parent). These are some things that most parents struggle with... However, the dad may usually go over the whole weenie thing.. And I think I am stuck with that task. eeek

I can say that I may have an upper hand on most men... Home Court Advantage (don't be dirty y'all).  I have hormones, PMS, PMDD, hate-the-world-for-no-reason days... You name it, if it is a terrible feminine quality, I have it.  HOWEVER, pregnancy hormones still baffle the hell out of me. But besides me, I think Jen is more shocked than anyone, bless her heart.  She is the rock in this group of two, and we have a man down!!!

When she cries for no reason, sometimes I feel like I might go right there with her! I have no clue what to do. It makes me realize.... THOSE POOR GUYS!!!!  What the hell do they do: take up a sport, purchase lots of pregnancy massages, start drinking, buy flowers daily???  I am more understanding than most men would be, and I still have moments of stupidity; I argue back WITH A PREGNANT WOMAN!!  Let me tell you, that is not a good idea.  She is not mad at me, she is mad at Mother Nature for toying with her, and I just happen to be standing there.
She is a hormonal puppet.

For those mothers out there, please tell us these hormonal personality changes are temporary!! Jen is petrified (uh, me too), that these changes will last forever. I hear all the time that no one prepares pregnant women for the changes they go through, and I find that to be true.  I also know that no one prepares the other parent for those changes either!

So, lots of people blow smoke up our arses about how wonderful the process is, and while I am not diminishing this little miracle, there just are not enough realists out there! The changes that Jen is experiencing do not resemble any miracle-like phenomena. It does not hurt the little miracle's feelings for you to be a real person. Let me preface this by saying, WE ARE BEYOND HAPPY, especially since we tried for almost two years to get this little turkey!! That goes without saying... but it is also good for us to plan, and freak out, and worry, OH, and then Freak Out!!! The changes for Jen are tough, I'm trying to adapt, and we know our lives will never be the same.  We have a great life, we love hanging out alone, with friends, and just doing what we want, when we want, and having a little money to spare. We are better off than many many people.. and we are grateful. 

However, that does allows for a moment of mourning for this life, and transition into our new life as parents.  Once he arrives we will be drunk with happiness, and all these arbitrary things will fall into place. Love will take over (at least for a few weeks until we are sleep deprived), and we will mosey on into mom life!  What we are learning from this experience is that for every little moment of getting what you want, you get a little wrench thrown in your plans.  This is teaching us both to go with the flow more, and to allow ourselves time to adjust, to freak out, and then to relax.

In the end, we get a baby; and with lots of work we get the stable, happy, crazy, fast-paced, sleep-deprived, bags under the eyes, non spontaneous movie night, horrible hair, vomit on our shirts, unwatched DVR, mix-matched socks, non-sleeping in, no relaxing tub and wine session, over-the-top, AMAZING life that we wanted!!





“To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.” ~Tennyson



"Grow old with me! The best is yet to be." ~Robert Browning

New Digs

I just wanted to share a few pictures of our new home!!  We are in love with it, and can't wait to bring the little nugget home!

And YES, I will post pictures of the baby's room once it is finished. We all know I'm a tad OCD and will be sewing and painting...so please stand by. :)