Let's get real... Parenthood is not all rainbows and butterflies.. And if you are one of those parents that tries to tell us that everything is incredible and wonderful, well, we won't be friends for long.
I suppose I should have a disclaimer to preface this post...
DISCLAIMER: **We love Atticus so very much, and we are more than thrilled that he is in our life!
Okay, now that the disclaimer is out of the way, let's be honest. . . We are 7 weeks into this parenthood process and WE ARE EXHAUSTED. We are exhausted and we have a pretty well behaved (most of the time), good sleeping baby. So when you see a mom walking around in sweats, looking disheveled, with bad hair, and children with food remnants on their face, please don't judge. We have all been there or will be there soon. I say that, but those that know me know that I will always have good hair and wipe that baby's face!! The rest may take over soon enough. I am a big proponent of time for relationships and self, and that has not been more clear to me than the last 4-6 weeks. To all those parents that do not leave their babies, that do not do date night, and do not go out for alone time; Bless your hearts!! We will see you on "Snapped" very soon. Just so you know, you cannot safe surrender a two year old...So go shopping or out for coffee alone and you will want to hurt them less.
I mentioned earlier that we have a fairly well behaved baby. This is kind of true, minus the last week or so. Our bundle of 'joy' (other names have been deleted for CPS' sake), has taken to fits of screaming throughout the day. I cannot claim that this is really all my problem right now because I am back to work and Jen is home for another week and a half, but I have experienced this as well once I get home. He is not wet, he is not hungry, he is not tired, and as far as I know no one (including a ghost) is pinching him. So why the hell is he screaming bloody murder unless we are walking around jostling him?! I'll tell you.. WHO THE HELL KNOWS!!!
Well, we were told it's possibly gas.. How silly. Our child screams as though we are trying to chop his leg off with a butter knife, and the reasoning is GAS? Fine.. We can handle gas (maybe). So we tried everything, and we took him into the doctor. No Fever. No Colic. No Reflux. No Earache. "His tummy is gurgling... " Are you freaking kidding me! There is a point (and don't try to deny it) where you want your old life back. He does not talk to us, he sort of smiles when he feels like it, he does not sleep regularly, he can't feed himself, and we can't take him anywhere cool. So this can make every parent feel a little off their rocker. We want to eat dinner together at home, we want to watch all of our TV shows that are coming back this Fall, we want to sleep in more than 4-7 hour increments (I know that's pretty good, don't judge), and we want to run to target at 7:30 to spend an obnoxious amount of money on nothing!! Damnit, we want to go to a movie on a Friday without having to convince our friends or Meemaw that Atticus misses them (hehe) and they should babysit!
Jen and I have both looked at each other the last 7 weeks and said "Why did we want to have kids," "I'm not a good mom," "I understand why someone would want to shake a baby," "We are not having anymore kids," "Maybe we don't love him enough." Before you get on your high horse and think we are nuts or evil people, I'll tell you something... RELAX. Allow yourself to feel what you feel and when you feel it. It does not make you shitty, it makes you healthy and normal. When your baby is screaming and you are bug-eyed, in your pajamas, starving, sleep deprived, in the same undies for three days, and crying; put the damn baby down and walk outside. Take a deep breath and repeat this mantra that I have found helpful.. and I know it to be true... *Every parent in the world has felt this way at one time or another while parenting; I am not a freak.
I promise that will work. We are too hard on ourselves these days.. You have to be supermom, work a job, make dinner, have multiple kids, maintain a good figure, and be a great spouse.. Good Lord people, we are only human!! And you only live ONCE, so try to make it pleasant, memorable, and jail free!
xoxoxo until next time!
Remember, do what you feel is right; don't listen to opinions. The only opinion that matters in the end is your own!!
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Is What 'They' Say True?!
The omnipotent THEY seems to haunt new parents everywhere. . . "They say your baby has to breast feed to bond with you." "They say not to ever place a baby on his or her belly to sleep." "They say a baby cannot be spoiled in the first couple of months." THEY say a lot, now don't they: Some of which is true, and others not so much. I'm a new parent and if I wasn't older (and stubborn as hell), I might be utterly overwhelmed with all THEY tell me to do, and not to do. We have received so many different opinions just from our doctors alone; let me just say, none of them are very consistent. So who is a new parent to trust?? And how in the hell do teen moms not kill their kids with all these mixed messages?? As much as I trust our doctors and friends, as a mom you know what to do. And just like adults, not all babies are alike!
We read a good many books, especially on sleep training, and we pick and choose what we think will work. We tried the cookie cutter plan that THEY say works for all babies: swaddle them to sleep. Yeah, so that worked for all of two days the first week, and not even well. The little guy turned into the Hulk, and we could hear him grunting and ripping the Velcro apart with his baby-man arms.. He screamed bloody murder, and that was that. One day we flipped the sucker over like a pancake and Viola!; he sleeps like, well, a baby (which makes no sense to say)... Go ahead, judge us! Please judge us and our one month old that sleeps four consecutive hours (give or take a bit) per night, and in his own room. He wakes up, eats like a champ, and bellies back down to sleep! Yes, I said in his own crib since he was 2.5 weeks. Should you go run and flip you baby and toss him in his crib at two and a half weeks because I say so? Hell no, unless you enjoy being a sheep (bah bah)...
My point (I'm sure you were waiting for it); do what works for YOUR baby! And I in no way condone dismissing your practitioner's feedback and advice. You listen, and listen well, but keep in mind that your baby may not agree. Atticus did not 'like' his original formula, and it seemed it took an act of congress to get the doctor to agree to let us change it. The bottom line is we are his parents, and if we feel something is best then we go for it, wisely of course. He also had a reaction to his diapers, which the docs said was normal.. Really, I don't prefer our son to have bright red nether regions... So, we switched the diapers and now he's golden. One doctor said not to give him water for his constipation, to get suppositories; the other doctor said to give him water twice a day... Do you see the dilemma?! So we went with what made sense to us... Water, duh. I'm not torturing the guy with a slimey bullet in his rear everyday when he can drink water (and yes we did try the suppository). But the noodle was still grunting like a pissed off warthog, so we gave him water. And guess what? He now poops as he should... Shocker.
Do I sound like some crazy nonconformist?! Ok, don't answer that... We have a wonderful Pediatrician whose opinion we value; however, if you are conditioned to always take the first advice you hear, from anyone, you may miss out on an amazing self teaching moment. There are times when we just want to call someone with kids (who has kept them alive), and verify that we aren't endangering the little guy.
So far parenting is a dash of knowledge, a large dallop of 'wing it,' and a shat ton of OMG.
I write this post late at night while staring at the video monitor, thinking... What will our son teach us next.
We read a good many books, especially on sleep training, and we pick and choose what we think will work. We tried the cookie cutter plan that THEY say works for all babies: swaddle them to sleep. Yeah, so that worked for all of two days the first week, and not even well. The little guy turned into the Hulk, and we could hear him grunting and ripping the Velcro apart with his baby-man arms.. He screamed bloody murder, and that was that. One day we flipped the sucker over like a pancake and Viola!; he sleeps like, well, a baby (which makes no sense to say)... Go ahead, judge us! Please judge us and our one month old that sleeps four consecutive hours (give or take a bit) per night, and in his own room. He wakes up, eats like a champ, and bellies back down to sleep! Yes, I said in his own crib since he was 2.5 weeks. Should you go run and flip you baby and toss him in his crib at two and a half weeks because I say so? Hell no, unless you enjoy being a sheep (bah bah)...
My point (I'm sure you were waiting for it); do what works for YOUR baby! And I in no way condone dismissing your practitioner's feedback and advice. You listen, and listen well, but keep in mind that your baby may not agree. Atticus did not 'like' his original formula, and it seemed it took an act of congress to get the doctor to agree to let us change it. The bottom line is we are his parents, and if we feel something is best then we go for it, wisely of course. He also had a reaction to his diapers, which the docs said was normal.. Really, I don't prefer our son to have bright red nether regions... So, we switched the diapers and now he's golden. One doctor said not to give him water for his constipation, to get suppositories; the other doctor said to give him water twice a day... Do you see the dilemma?! So we went with what made sense to us... Water, duh. I'm not torturing the guy with a slimey bullet in his rear everyday when he can drink water (and yes we did try the suppository). But the noodle was still grunting like a pissed off warthog, so we gave him water. And guess what? He now poops as he should... Shocker.
Do I sound like some crazy nonconformist?! Ok, don't answer that... We have a wonderful Pediatrician whose opinion we value; however, if you are conditioned to always take the first advice you hear, from anyone, you may miss out on an amazing self teaching moment. There are times when we just want to call someone with kids (who has kept them alive), and verify that we aren't endangering the little guy.
So far parenting is a dash of knowledge, a large dallop of 'wing it,' and a shat ton of OMG.
I write this post late at night while staring at the video monitor, thinking... What will our son teach us next.
"When a child asks you something, answer him, for goodness sake." -Atticus Finch
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