Don't you? If I only judged parenting based on Facebook or Instagram posts, then life seems dazzling with a toddler. It's easy to get sucked into THAT world. It's very easy to doubt your skills as a mom and compare yourself to the perfect moms of social media: wearing lipstick, matching clean clothes, and perfect beachy waves! Bitches!! But then I think, "oh shit, that may be me." Although, I do hate lipstick. What I mean is, we all post the best photos. So we all pretty much look our best to the outside world.
Social media makes parenting seem like buttah, nice and smooth. Well guess what, it's not. No one posts photos of themselves chugging coffee while trying to eat yogurt and swat at a screaming toddler at 6:30am: A toddler that may be issuing breakfast demands that sound like German! "Uutz Mooof momma!!" Huh?!
No one posts the photos of themselves trying to use the bathroom alone for two seconds of adult peace, while a toddler flings the door open and tries to crawl in your lap (gotta see about that door lock!) Although, maybe they do it and I dodged that photo bullet.
Even if you post stressful 'real life' parenting photos, they aren't real. It's just you smiling. Right before you lose your shit.
So let's call it what it is; it's how we all cope and unwind. I see your photos on Facebook, and I know you're home hollering at your spouse, wearing two day old sweats, swearing at the dog, and letting your kid eat crap food. You can pretend they eat gluten free, but I can smell the Doritos through your hashtags!! And that is A-OK. Because bribing kids with junk food works. I'll be damned if I'm gonna ruin 2 minutes of my day, when (on occasion) a bag of fruit snacks will solve it!
Remember the recent photo of the mom breastfeeding on the toilet?! Yeah, it received lots of attention and opinions. My opinion of her choice does not matter, nor do I care... However, I don't look that good on a toilet. So maybe she thought that was a rough photo of parenting in action, but it looked like a model posing with a fake kid. I couldn't reenact it if you paid me.
Of course this shit is hard! We're raising people, not gerbils. So it's not always going to look good, unless you follow us on Instagram! I joke, I joke.
Seriously, we are all human. Parenting is a huge task that no one is prepared for. It's like floating in an amazing pool with endless margaritas, and someone tosses you a bowling ball. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...
Just remember that don't have to get your kid on Ellen, or post a rad You Tube video that goes viral, to be a bomb ass parent!
Keep all this in mind when you see a smiling angel kid on Facebook when yours ripped you to shreds all day. No matter your parenting philosophy or style, we will all have the same meltdowns, milestones, and snuggles. If you aren't a parent yet, and you want to be, don't let the Internet fool you... Shit comes out of babies like hot lava no matter what you feed them, you'll laugh at that crazy alien newborn until you almost pee your pants, and you'll cry at things that make you feel like a complete emotional moron. And I didn't even get the hormones!!
Enjoy the ride, and give yourself a break. Eventually all our kids will know their ABC's, they will talk like everyone else, and they will like one parent more on any given day. So relax and try to enjoy the crazy ride!! (And stay off effin social media on your bad days!)
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